Junaidi Asmara

Test

2011-08-17T00:37:00.001-07:00

1 2 3
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What?

2011-07-20T19:32:00.001-07:00

What?
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Bon Voyage

2011-05-31T07:08:00.001-07:00

Selamat jalan Ayie Sohaimi.
Tamat tempoh disini, sekarang ke destinasi seterusnya.
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Baboon!

2011-05-26T02:44:00.001-07:00

Created by Oatmeal

Terkenang

2011-04-11T00:49:00.000-07:00

Tiba-tiba terkenang.

Bengkak bengkil

2011-03-31T02:17:00.001-07:00

Tangan dan kaki masih bengkak.
MC sampai hari ini saja.

Hikmat harimau jadian! Gagah ke pejabat esok!

Alamak, motor masih di bengkel!
Dang!
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Of scars and bruisers

2011-03-30T03:52:00.000-07:00

Ran over by a bike coming from the wrong way of the traffic last night.

Bastard!

Few scars and bruisers, other than that I'm OK.

Tiger Junior, 3 weeks old, not looking good.

Argh!

Dua Dozen

2011-03-26T20:51:00.001-07:00

Dua dosen bersamaan dengan 24.
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Tiger Junior membelah lautan batu.

2011-03-14T07:44:00.001-07:00

Segak bergaya berjaket kulit sintetik, topi keledar hitam cap ARC. Sarung tangan hitam berjalur merah.
Tunggangan agung putih berseri, bersulam hijau, tanda sepadan dengan alam semulajadi.
Meluncur membelah lautan trafik di Lebuhraya Damansara Puchong.
Parkir dalam petak ditepi bangunan, dimangga berjenama Solex.

Aku ada motorsikal baharu. Kawasaki KLX150s.

Sekarang mahu cari lagu runut bunyi (sountrack) filem Gila-Gila Remaja.

Tiger Junior is a homage to Tiger Senior.
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Of pyramid and square (2)

2011-02-13T00:13:00.001-08:00

Premature disappointment on Egypt : After only 2 days, the military chief decided to make an announcement to keep the previously made international "peace agreement", a fancy way of saying they will continue Mubarak's friendship with Israel, and the oppression of the Gaza's people. US seems to be quick at work, urging their allies in Arab world eg : Jordan and Saudi to meet and discuss the development in Egypt, or in other word, to reassemble their invisible hands on the Arab world. US so quick voicing their "support" and willing to send "financial aid" to "rebuild" Egypt's democracy.

Oh well.

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Of pyramid and square.

2011-02-11T10:59:00.000-08:00

11th February 2011 is the day when Hosni Mubarak stepped down from presidency following 18 days of street protest by Egyptians.

I decided to blog about this and check back later if this post will have any value in the future.
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Small kangaroo

2011-02-07T06:11:00.001-08:00

As I was watching Junior Master Chef Australia, I can't help but keep on saying words like "Wow" and "Shit" and "Damm".

Those kids are not even 12, and yet they're displaying the skills and talent of a professional. If its only 1 kid, then probably the kid is special in a way, but we are talking about more than 50 kids cooking in 1 big kitchen with equal talent, there must be 1 common factor which lead to this kind of phenomenon.

So I keep on thinking, how can these kids able to cook like this? And the only explanation is early exposure. One common thing about these kids is they were exposed to sophisticated cooking style at a very tender age.

Now, if we can apply this method of learning to any field, we can have millions of young Malaysian mastering all kind of fields from engineering to medicine, from agriculture to music.

Oh well, if only.
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Hornet Davidson

2011-02-06T10:47:00.001-08:00

This Harley Davidson V Rod is awesome!
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Domino

2011-02-01T22:22:00.001-08:00

Perubahan besar datang bukan dengan reformasi.

KITA TAK PERLUKAN REFORMASI, KITA PERLUKAN REVOLUSI.
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Damansara Uptown dan Maggi Sup

2011-02-01T03:22:00.001-08:00

Duduk mengelamun atas bangku kayu diluar sebuah kafe. Segerombolan anak muda leka bersembang sambil menghembus kepulan asap, mengilai si gadis, apa sebabnya aku kurang jelas.

Sebatang kretek terselit celah jari telunjuk dan jari tengah. Lagu-lagu elektro pop silih berganti. Aku tenang, sesuai dengan cuaca yang dingin.

Berbaju T yang asalnya putih, sekarang bertompok-tompok kesan lumpur dan daki, bukan karya Pollock. Celana pendeknya kusam, sekusam rambut kerintingnya. Dia berhenti didepan tangga sambil menadah tangan, "Maggi sup" katanya.

Ini kafe jual kek cawan, jual kentang bakar, mana mungkin boleh dapat Maggi sup.

Kecewa agaknya, dia terus mara, menuju kedai tayar kereta. Aku dapat rasakan dia tak mungkin jumpa Maggi sup petang ini.
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Three Little Birds

2010-12-31T23:10:00.001-08:00

Don't worry about a thing.
2011 is here.
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Still here?

2010-12-14T04:53:00.000-08:00

Hello there!

Terbalik

2010-09-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

Aku sedang khusyuk memandu, ekor mata aku terpandang pelekat warna merah dengan huruf "M" besar berwarna kuning di penjuru bawah cermin hadapan belah pemandu.
Eureka! Aku teruja.
"Kena beli berapa banyak baru dapat free stuff guna sticker ni?" Aku bertanya.
"Dulu 15, sekarang dah naik, maybe 20 ringgit kot." Dia jawab dari kerusi penumpang sebelah aku.
"Mahal juga, tapi kalau you terbalikkan sticker ni, you boleh dapat diskaun dekat William, murah sikit." Aku kata sambil tersengih.
"Haha! So funny ar you!" Dia jawab sambil buat muka annoyed.

Tak faham? Oh well.
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Tun

2010-09-26T08:51:00.000-07:00

Sudah setengah bulan Syawal.
Berjalan, makan, berbual secara berulang.
Siang tadi dapat santap kambing golek, kemudian tonton teater muzikal orang politik.

I'm OK.
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New Moon

2010-09-08T15:25:00.000-07:00

Esok Raya yob!
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Editorial

2010-08-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

Terlalu sibuk tak berbuat apa-apa.
Akan tulis lagi bila sibuk membuat sesuatu.

Too busy doing nothing, will write more when busy doing something.

EDITOR

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Anarchy in silence

2010-08-25T11:14:00.000-07:00

Some of these books, I choose not to finish them.
My way of keeping the books fresh, way beyond the last word.
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Hingusan

2010-08-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

Abah kau gemuk! Abah kau gemuk!

Lari lintang pukang.
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Talk is cheap

2010-08-14T15:27:00.000-07:00

Life doesn't make sense, most of the time, same goes to Oprah.
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Dulu

2010-08-12T05:29:00.000-07:00

Ini cerita lama.
Tahun 2005, di Politeknik Ungku Omar, Ipoh. Baki dalam dompet cuma 50 sen, lagi 30 minit masuk waktu berbuka. Aku ambil tuala dan tenang melangkah ke bilik mandi di tingkat 2 blok asrama.
Selesai mandi, aku geledah bilik, jumpa 2 ketul buah tamar dalam kotak kecil atas meja rakan sebilik yang sudah keluar berbuka di kedai.
Azan maghrib, aku suap buah tamar dan minum air sejuk dari 'water cooler'.
Lepas solat, aku keluar pintu asrama, menuju ke perhentian bas, ini 'port' pelajar lelaki merokok, dekat dengan pintu masuk asrama tetapi secara teknikal luar kawasan asrama. Berjaya minta sebatang rokok dari pelajar jurusan kejuruteraan awam.
Survived yet another day.

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Gagah

2010-08-06T05:42:00.000-07:00

Meja kecil sebelah kiri katil ditimbuni buku-buku yang berhabuk, ada yang sudah dibaca berulang kali, ada yang baru dibaca separuh, ada juga yang belum diselak.
Dalam kesesakan hidup, aku cuba cari jawapan dari barisan-barisan ayat Kerouac, Salinger, Fitzgerald dan penulis-penulis agung yang sebahagian besarnya dah lama mati.
Bukan semua tulisan mereka mampu aku fahami, ada kalanya aku hanya pura-pura faham dan hafal bait-baitnya agar boleh aku gunakan dalam perbualan.
Kebelakangan ini, aku mula terasa rindu mahu menulis semula, setidaknya menulis disini, ada atau tidak yang membaca tak jadi soal, aku bukan penulis yang dibayar.

Sekarang, aku mahu rujuk Palahniuk untuk idea-idea tulisan berbaur lucah yang bisa buat kau rogol fikiran kau sendiri!
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Joy

2010-08-04T01:10:00.001-07:00

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Just

2010-07-28T04:07:00.000-07:00

Just in case you're wondering, I'm OK.
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Albert the dog

2010-07-08T12:40:00.000-07:00

Nick was wearing an evening dress from the Victorian era, handcuffed and escorted by the polices.

"You're 16, you going to juvenile detention centre, you'll be out in 3 months."

"Will you wait for me?"

After 3 months, they flew to France in a convertible with Albert the dog at the back seat.

Sheeni is madly in love with France.

Fin.
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M.I.A

2010-07-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

Muse still missing and it is hard to create one too.
That is not how it works.
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Void

2010-07-04T10:22:00.000-07:00

When your life is dull and boring, there are not much to write about. Solution to this situation is, write about someone else's life.
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Cameo

2010-06-25T00:43:00.000-07:00

I thought i saw Dante Alighieri's quote in Shrek 4.

Did you?

Tadah

2010-06-24T03:03:00.001-07:00

Lelaki separuh umur datang dekat, aku sibuk menaip di BlackBerry sambil menghembus asap rokok, baru sudah makan. Malas mahu layan.
Lelaki separuh umur ke meja sebelah, aku toleh kepala. Lelaki separuh umur tadah tangan, lelaki muda meja sebelah hulur seketul kuih buah Melaka, terus disumbat kedalam mulut.
"Rokok", sebut lelaki separuh umur, aku buka kotak rokok, hulur sebatang Marlboro. Rokok disimpan dalam kocek kemeja lelaki separuh umur, terus berjalan laju.
Lelaki muda meja sebelah terus bersembang, dua tiga kali perkataan 'Datuk' keluar dari mulut. Aku terus menaip di BlackBerry.

Kuala Lumpur.

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Bukan

2010-06-24T02:54:00.000-07:00

"Kenapa awak dah lama tak update blog?", rungut kawan perempuan.
"Saya perlukan muse.", jawab lelaki.

Selang sehari.
Mata lelaki terpaku pada skrin komputer. Video rakaman Shakira bergelek di konsert pembukaan Piala Dunia.

Masih mencari muse.
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Oh yeah

2010-06-16T21:43:00.000-07:00

This space here started to look a little too much like a photo blog.
Should i start one?

Global madness

2010-06-16T21:39:00.001-07:00

Half time

2010-06-05T23:36:00.001-07:00

I'm taking a break from this space. Getting over crowded. Will be back, if you're lucky.
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Getting a fix-ed

2010-06-02T02:12:00.000-07:00

I want one! (both if can)

Sun God

2010-05-30T08:08:00.000-07:00

Pray to me for I am your Sun God.
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Just trying.

2010-05-26T22:43:00.000-07:00

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out and froze.

When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who the hell are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"

"Probably the same kind of people that would name a rotweiller Jesus," the bird answered.

Lame.

Cekik

2010-05-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

For old time sake

2010-05-24T06:51:00.000-07:00

It is a known fact that I am a fan of Reggae and Ska music.

Kuala Lumpur Skankin' Fest 2010
Date: 26th June 2010
Venue: Telekom Museum, Jalan Raja Chulan, Kuala Lumpur
Time: 1PM onwards.

If you're lucky, you might see me skankin.
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Better than Oprah

2010-05-23T07:51:00.001-07:00

Homer Simpson is always better than Oprah, at least in my book. How can anyone beat the following words of wisdom?

1.Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
2.Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
3.Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
4.Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
5.Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
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Cold hard

2010-05-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

Women can't seem to understand the importance of a football match to a man.

Lelaki tak mungkin faham akan maksud keperluan dalam konteks bilangan kasut untuk perempuan.
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Multi tasking

2010-04-24T11:12:00.001-07:00

This is me blogging while sitting on a toilet bowl. Kudos for technology.
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Angkot

2010-04-21T10:01:00.001-07:00

I used to enjoy riding on public transportations, I can practice my people watching skill and struck by some nice subjects to write about.
I took a bus and a train today, tried to do what I used to do, only this time around I failed and gained headache instead.
What does that tell me?
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Mobster

2010-04-21T09:01:00.001-07:00

Siapa sangka yang Mario Puzo sebenarnya jijik akan naskah Godfather?
Naskah The Fortunate Pilgrim sebenarnya yang ditatang bagai cupak emas.

Soal yang lebih serius, aku masih tak punya senaskah pun hasil Palahniuk.
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Sepatu

2010-04-21T08:54:00.001-07:00

Masih ingat racau aku pasal perlunya aku akan kasut baru? Dah terlalu lama labun yang itu.
Kasut dah berganti, kaki yang menginjak masih sama, dalamnya isi masih semacam ini.
Mana silapnya?
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Sometime

2010-04-19T10:14:00.001-07:00

I'm self centered, sometime
I'm a jerk, sometime
I'm cruel, sometime
I'm heartless, sometime
I'm rude, sometime

I'm considerate, sometime
I'm cool, sometime
I'm kind, sometime
I'm lovely, sometime
I'm polite, sometime

I'm Junaidi Asmara, all the time.
Fin.
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2K

2010-04-16T11:31:00.001-07:00

Sepuluh tahun dulu, tahun 2000, aku ke Kuala Kubu Bharu untuk ke sekolah menengah. 4 tahun kemudian, aku dibuang sekolah, tapi itu cerita lain.
Kuala Kubu Bharu letaknya dalam daerah Hulu Selangor. Tempatnya tenang, pekan kecil, jalan sehala. Anak anak sekolah berkumpul di terminal bas yang juga berfungsi sebagai tempat bersosial. Seberang jalan bertentangan terminal bas ada bangunan putih bersalib, gereja St. Paul. Dalam kawasan pekan ada pasar dan sekolah rendah Tamil.
Aku mula belajar kenal ganja di Kuala Kubu Bharu, tapi itu cerita lain. Aku mula berani panjat pagar juga di Kuala Kubu Bharu, tapi itu juga cerita lain.
Cerita-cerita ini semua tak relevan lagi di Kuala Kubu Bharu hari ini. Hari ini, orang bercerita pasal kapal selam, enjin jet dan isu perisik Israel di Kuala Kubu Bharu.
Cerita anak umur 13 tahun ke Kuala Kubu Bharu untuk belajar tahun 2000 dulu tak sehebat cerita-cerita sekarang.
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Happyness

2010-04-14T09:13:00.001-07:00

Happiness is cheap, one can easily get it for only RM 4.99 at McDonald's.
(I'm not getting paid for this)
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Rabbi

2010-04-14T02:04:00.001-07:00

I am the High Priest of Woot Woot Clan™.
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Interval

2010-04-14T00:27:00.001-07:00

"Have you Jew'ed yourself today?", putting down Big Mac box.
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Renaissance

2010-04-13T10:02:00.001-07:00

Semasa zaman kebangkitan Eropah (renaissance), golongan artisan dan filusuf boleh dianggap sebagai tulang belakang dalam pembentukan dan pembangunan sistem sosial dan ekonomi. Golongan ini sampai satu tahap dianggap suci atas ukuran iktelektual mereka.
Hari ini aku menceroboh masuk ke lingkaran artisan berbekalkan secupak ilmu dan sehidangan kosher.
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Badabing!

2010-04-12T19:09:00.001-07:00

This situation in Thailand is making my feet sweat. Worst thing could happen is, the whole country caught on fire and they have to shut down famous tourist spots. Can you imagine no more exotic Thai girls dancing half naked (or totally nude)?
This is really getting out of control! Someone or something better act on this real quick!
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Author

2010-04-11T05:34:00.001-07:00

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Woot!

2010-04-11T05:32:00.001-07:00

Woot!
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Kemaskini

2010-03-23T06:45:00.001-07:00

This is me updating my blog.

Acro

2010-03-04T20:42:00.000-08:00

The Moro Islamic Liberation Front is MILF.

Sweet

2010-03-03T23:01:00.000-08:00

'Aww! you bought me gifts!, so sweet!'

Simple math: Money>gifts>sweet

The next time your coffee is a bit too bitter, dip a dollar bill in it.

Viva

2010-03-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

Suku Bourgeois kata, without law and order there will be chaos.

Kata aku, without sex there will be no human race.

Can't see the connection? Me too.

Got cracker?

2010-02-25T00:34:00.000-08:00

Pasar malam di kawasan perumahan korang ada jual benda ini?

Lost art

2010-02-24T20:37:00.000-08:00

The art of (in)formal letter writing is fading within the society, and for this, i blame the technologies and Illuminati and a female UITM's lecturer who used to talk to my class (or teaching as she called it).

Ahh, it's fun to pass the blame to someone else's hand, isn't it?

Preface

2010-02-24T17:28:00.000-08:00

this will be a new starting point, at least I'm trying to make it so.